Mean Girls, Mean Moms and Female Friendships With Dr. Noelle Santorelli

Dr. Noelle Santorelli – Mean Girls, Mean Moms & Female Friendships

Have you ever thought, “Wait…aren’t we too old for this?”

The truth is, the “mean girl” phenomenon doesn’t necessarily end when we leave middle school. Exclusion, cliques, gossip, competition, and complicated friendships can follow us well into adulthood—and motherhood can sometimes bring an entirely new layer to these dynamics.

In this episode of MomsWork Podcast, Kristin Weinrich sits down with Dr. Noelle Santorelli, a therapist, mom, and expert in women’s relationships and family dynamics, to talk about the complicated world of female friendships.

Why can being left out still hurt so much as an adult? Why do mean-girl behaviors continue into motherhood? And how do we navigate difficult friendships while making sure we aren't contributing to the very behavior we dislike?

Kristin and Noelle talk honestly about:

What “mean girl” behavior looks like—and why it doesn't necessarily disappear with age
Why exclusion can be so painful, even as adults
The role insecurity, comparison, and competition can play in friendships
How to handle gossip, cliques, and feeling left out
Knowing when to address a difficult friendship and when it's healthier to walk away
Why friendship breakups can feel just as painful as romantic breakups
How to know when a friendship is worth repairing—and when it's okay to outgrow one
Helping our children navigate friendship drama, exclusion, and bullying
What to do when your child is being excluded
How social media has changed friendships for both kids and adults
Setting healthy boundaries in our own relationships
The difference between healthy conflict and unhealthy behavior

Noelle also shares her friendship red flags and green flags, along with advice every mom can use when it comes to helping her children—and herself—build healthier, kinder relationships.

Because friendships should add to our lives, not leave us constantly questioning where we stand.

Follow Dr. Noelle Santorelli:
Instagram & Facebook: @drnoellesantorelli
Website: www.drnoellesantorelli.com

Mentioned in the Episode 

Ashley Tisdale article: https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/ashley-tisdale-reveals-left-toxic-mom-group-rcna252607

(From Chat GPT) "Oreo Gate” is the viral Instagram mom-drama/storytime series that’s blowing up right now in August 2026. It’s not actually about the Oreo cookie itself—it’s about a school-parent WhatsApp group and an increasingly ridiculous dispute involving Oreos. 😂

The story is being told in a series of Instagram reels by @ashleighjamz, and people are following along like it’s a TV show. There are now multiple parts, with commenters referring to it as “Oreo-gate” and speculating about the people involved. 

🍪 So what happened?

The basic setup is a back-to-school situation involving moms, kids, a school WhatsApp chat, and Oreos. One mom—referred to as Michelle in the story—apparently takes issue with something involving Oreos and the situation spirals into a much bigger interpersonal drama.

What makes it so entertaining is that it has all the ingredients of classic “mean moms” drama:

•  A school-parent group chat 
•  Moms taking sides 
•  A seemingly tiny issue becoming a HUGE issue 
•  Passive-aggressive messages 
•  Friendship dynamics 
•  Kids getting caught in the middle 
•  People wondering, “Are you seriously this upset about Oreos?” 😂 

The creator has been releasing it in multiple parts, and the latest posts are still generating thousands of comments. One recent update was labeled Part 5, with another post referencing Part 7. 

And interestingly, people are already debating whether the story is completely real or partly exaggerated/created for social media. 

Kim Kardashians's Baseball Moms show Team Moms: https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/high-school/baseball/2026/08/20/kim-kardashian-to-produce-teen-moms-baseball-on-paramount/91380696007/

Picky Pads on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=picky+pad&crid=AMULAYRYMZIJ&sprefix=picky+pad%2Caps%2C184&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

And if you enjoyed this episode, please follow MomsWork Podcast, leave a review, and share it with a friend. Find MomsWork Podcast on Instagram and Facebook at @MomsWorkPodcast.

Thanks for listening—and remember: healthy friendships are built on kindness, respect, boundaries, and authenticity.